To Whom It May Concern:
It is hot.
And I don't mean "It is summer and I have to walk from my apartment to my car and pout until the air conditioner kicks in while swearing at whomever invented leather steering wheels that scald your hands," hot.
Oh no. It is much hotter than that.
What I mean is, "It is not even July and it has been at (or above!!) 100 degrees every day for the past week and we do not have any damn air conditioning so I'm going to sit naked directly between the fan and the open window, sweat my ass off and periodically fret about all the creepy bugs who are just thrilled that we have invited them into our home while trying to figure out if there is any conceivable way to make an air conditioner out of a cell phone, some DVDs, Tampax Tampons and a Snickers wrapper before taking my 276th shower of the day and wishing it was winter again so I can bitch about how cold it is."
Friends, this is the kind of heat I am talking about here and I am sad.
So, I've got a plan. And I think it's a good one. Y'all can send me a care package full of icy goodness! Yay! How does that sound?? It should include one or more of the following:
- A snow making machine
- A humongous block of ice
- Three tons of Ben & Jerry's Oatmeal Cookie Crunch Ice Cream
- The month of December
- A glacier (penguins included)
- A swimming pool
- An ice skating rink (and some ice skates, size 6)
- The North Pole (or perhaps the snowy peaks of Mt. Everest)
- A Meagan-sized refrigerator (with air holes cut into it)
- A snow-cone machine (cherry flavored, please)
In the meantime, I encourage you to have a nice cold drink, think of me... and tell your air-conditioner you love it. Go on. Give it a hug.
Sincerely,
Meag
P.S. Sometime in between all the sweating and fantasizing about vacationing in the Arctic, I will get around to uploading pictures and possibly even blogging about our trip...
