The Packrat Chronicles

I have a lot of crap. I never really thought I was abnormal in this respect until some dear and thoughtful friends helped me move several years ago. I will never forget their faces as they stopped in my doorway, uttering various exclamations of horror and disbelief at the sheer mountains of stuff I have. I think a few of them may have even tried to run away. (To be fair, I am also a rotten packer, and felt it was satisfactory practice to hand over lamps, rolls of toilet paper, pillows, knick-knacks and towels sans box because the task of packing up everything simply proved to be too daunting. Plus you just have to unpack it all anyway, right? Why not skip that step?)

Anyway, it was my first realization that perhaps not everyone keeps a box full of the "good" fortunes they get from the cookies after Chinese dinners or old batteries in event they ever get around to recycling them. I guess I never really listened to my Dad's adage "When in doubt, throw it out". Or, rather, I did... I just honestly believed I needed it all! I mean, if there was a Packrats Anonymous, I definitely would be forced to join because I am a dedicated and passionate fan of clutter. More specifically:

Mom - the "Art of Belly Dancing", Silly Putty, decks of cards and miniature slinkies you put in our Christmas stockings every year just for fun? I still have most of them in my "junk drawer".

Kristin - that e-mail you sent almost seven years ago detailing our adventures at Busch Gardens, Williamsburg? It's in a binder in my bureau along with about 300 or so e-mails from various and sundry people over the years.

Ryan - the card shaped like a mug of beer you gave me last Valentines Day? You know... the one where you drew a little heart with an arrow on it and told me affectionately you like me better than... you guessed it... beer? Yep. Got that too. (No, you will never live this down... but as much as I tease, I do sleep with the panda bear every night... and rest assured he (and the card) will be joining me in BG.)

Dad - the letter you wrote me when I left for the Peace Corps talking about your experiences in Vietnam? Still gives me chills every time I read it.

While they do take up a lot of space, I must confess all of this stuff (and its ilk) make sense to me as they have strong sentimental value. I am positively mystified, though, by some of the junk that I have accumulated over the years.

Why oh why, for example, do I have 30-some beanie babies? I jumped enthusiastically into this craze back in 1998. I blame Tara and Geneva for this. They were thoroughly convinced they would ultimately be worth money and now I am the lucky owner of a bag full of multi-colored animals that are worth approximately $10 on E-bay.

Also, was it ever cool to collect pens? Because I have about 200 of them in a drawer. And it's not even like any of them write in a really fun color. Nope. Just tons of blue and black... and maybe a few red thrown in for variety... pens.

I have decks of cards and junk jewelry and purses and seashells and candles and lots and lots of books. I have over 300 CDs, Christmas cards I never sent from last year and a basket full of Mardi Gras beads (even though I have never been). I have VHS tapes and bottles of shampoo I tried but didn't like and old calendars and junk mail I was too lazy to rip up. I have Mickey Mouse themed stuff from my first WDW College Program back when I thought Mickey Mouse themed stuff was really awesome. I have shot glasses and 3 or 4 different nail clippers and a weird octopus looking thing that has wires sticking out of it that feels really good when you rub them on your head. (I got it at the mall at one of those kiosks if you want one too. If not, ignore them when they talk to you because once this thing touches your head, it's magic I tell you, magic!). I even have an old drivers' license where I am sporting 80's bangs.

It's amazing to me that I never sorted through any of this before... I just carted it from one place to the next. Now I will be going through all of it and either selling it to my friends for really low prices, donating it to Goodwill or (gasp!) throwing it away. Of course I will be keeping the pictures and journals and cards and such because memories like that really are priceless. Only those, my computer and my clothes will make the trip with me up to DC on December 14. And, at that point, I will have one week to sort through what remains and decide what I will stuff into exactly two suitcases and a carry-on to make the trip to Bulgaria.

I always thought it would be much harder than this to eliminate the clutter from my life, but instead I find it strangely liberating. And for those of you who are planning on coming to the Sale at my place next Saturday, I don't anticipate any tears of sorrow as I bid farewell to my possessions. However, if for some strange reason you find me clinging sadly to a black plastic trashbag, just tell me kindly (but firmly)... "Meag, put down the Beanie Babies and step away slowly!"

It's about time I did anyway.