Into the Dragon's Lair

Today I did something I have never before dared.

Today I opted to be brave. To buck the system. To journey where many fear to go.

Today I woke up very early... and I went shopping.

There was a time when I loved shopping. I mean, really, really loved it. I embraced it with every fiber of my being. So much so that I would happily head out the door to buy, like, a pair of shoes... and wake up several hours later with armloads of stuff I had no recollection of purchasing. It was like I went into a fugue state or something and the other Meag... the impulsive, wicked Meag... took over, running amok at the mall.

I really don't know what happened, but somewhere along the line I went from loving shopping to positively loathing it. Trips to the mall for me have become more of mini-missions that I approach with dual senses of dread and impending doom. This is probably because I know that somewhere - just beneath the surface - seethes a Meagan that finds it virtually impossible to tell herself, "No! You do not need a $200 pair of boots! Or a rice cooker! Or the Complete Works of Mozart with 170 CDs."

So going to the store today was absolutely the last thing on my agenda until last night, after a tasty Thanksgiving feast, my friends pulled out the newspaper to explore the Black Friday sales. And that's when I was lost. It was not the $130 Digital Mini Camcorder that snagged me. Or the 3 frying pans for $20.

It was the luggage. 6-pieces for $60 at Target. They tantalized me... drawing me in like a fly to a porch light. Understand I do not currently have a good set of luggage... and these bags were so clean and new and pretty. What's more, they actually had functioning zippers. I was utterly seduced.

Still, I held out. When I went to bed last night, I fully planned on following through with my initial goal of waking up as late as possible, enjoying a cup of coffee and starting to wade through my last paper in my two and a half year pursuit of my MPA. But fate took over and I awoke, sans alarm, at 6:30 AM. "Huh", I thought and lay there for a few minutes trying fruitlessly to fall back asleep. When, after five minutes I was still staring wide-eyed at the ceiling, I came to the realization that this was clearly a sign. That luggage had to be mine. So I threw on a pair of jeans and a shirt and ran off to my local Target.

I expected mayhem. Women running down the aisles with shopping carts, body-slamming anyone who got in their way. Kids digging through toys, tossing aside undesired Barbies and Thomas the Trains like so many pieces of garbage. Men wrestling those who dared to take the last $100 6- megapixel digital camera.

Instead, I parked easily, acquired a cart with minimal effort and strolled leisurely to the back of the store where I found exactly what I sought - a bright-blue 6-piece Embark luggage set. No one grabbed the other side of the bags, engaging in an impromptu game of Tug-O-War. Nary a person bargained with me for the privilege of taking them home. Nor, I found when I got to the front of the store, did I even have to wait in line. Sure, Target was a bit busy for 6:45 AM on a Friday... but all in all, it was a painless and civil process. I was in and out in less than 10 minutes. I was so inspired by this, that I drove to Rack Room Shoes and purchased 3 pairs (for $60) and had a similar experience there. No insanity. No violence. No bloodshed. What I thought would be an all-morning adventure worthy of a Medal of Honor wound up taking less than an hour and being actually sort of... boring.

I must say I am a little disappointed. However, I was able to vicariously share in Tara, Garrett and Kelli's 4:45 AM quest for the $999 42" plasma TV and feel most uplifted by their courageous and lengthy battle towards success.

Onward, Black Friday Shoppers! Onward!