My name is Meag and... I have Road Rage.
A few months ago my roommate Jenn and I planned to make the trip out to Tampa for the Def Leppard/Journey concert. I happily jingled my keys and opened the car door for her only to look over to see her putting her stuff in her car. She tossed me a look and said firmly, "No, Meagan. NO! You are not driving. You won't be able to handle the traffic and I definitely won't be able to handle you." Hmf.
On another occasion, my friend Mindi refused to let me drive to Ormond Beach for the Paul deBruyn 15K. I wanted to know why. She replied, "Meag, you are seriously one of the nicest people I have ever met. Really. It's hard to think of anyone nicer. Until you get behind the wheel. Then you are a raging bitch. It's like Jekyll and Hyde."
They are not wrong. Although I think of it as a necessary evil, I tend to curse and use my horn more frequently than is probably truly warranted. Personally, I think I am a superb driver, but evidently unless you grew up in a big city like DC where assertive driving is a bonus, I have come to realize I will... (inadvertently, I promise!)... scare you. The exception, of course, is my friend Kendra who grew up in Smalltown USA, but for some reason really likes the way I drive. She says it's because I get her where she's going quickly and (I must add) safely. I prefer to think it's because it's always an entertaining experience, driving with me.
I am not really proud of this "condition", though, and am always coming up with new ways to be more Zen-like behind the wheel. In fact, I once kept a sticky on my dashboard with the date and time of the last time I used my horn to remind me to exercise patience. It was exactly four days, six hours and 38 minutes before I found the "need" to blast away at the man in the the Ford Focus who apparently deemed it necessary to stop in the middle of the road while he figured out where he wanted to go. Nevertheless, this was a record of which I am pleased since it's often hard to make it through one day without finding fault with the shockingly awful drivers of Central Florida.
Contrary to popular opinion, however, I actually enjoy driving. And since my remaining time in the States is limited, I don't want to scare you away! Being a passenger with me behind the wheel is not all bad! No!
And to prove it, I will now provide you with the Top 5 Reasons why driving with me can actually be FUN!
5. I sing along with the radio. Badly, yes... but sometimes I make up my own words which can be really funny. Plus - you like country? Me too! Rap? Hey, one of my favorite songs is "Air Force Ones"! Classic Rock? I don't mean to brag, but you should be aware I know all the words to "The Bohemian Rhapsody" and feel absolutely compelled to add in the requisite enthusiastic head banging a la "Wayne's World"! It's true!
4. As I have already revealed, I am a packrat. This means there are often a lot of really cool things in my car for you to explore, like... ummmm... magazines and water bottles... and... my tent! At one time I even had a bumper in my car! (I feel I should clarify, it was actually my bumper. This probably does not do a lot to support my "I am a good driver!" theory... but that is a story for another time.) So you see? Entertainment for everybody!
3. I tend to get lost. A lot. So if you like adventure and discovering new locales that were not necessarily on our itinerary like Clermont or Winter Garden or, I don't know... Maine... I am definitely your girl.
2. Have I mentioned the singing?
1. Come to think of it, I am not certain there are 5 reasons why you should drive with me. Drat.
So... I, uh, hear the bus system in Bulgaria is pretty good!
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5 comments:
I grew up and learned how to drive inside the Washington DC beltway. Now I live in Delaware, and everyone here thinks I'm a nut behind the wheel because I drive what most people think is VERY close to other cars. I have a simple driving theory, the car in front of me will be the next one I pass. Maybe what I'm getting at is that you are just not around people who think like you do, and that's not a crime. Don't go changin'....
If I remember correctly there was at one point a bumper and a mattress in the back of your car. And I believe you drove a boy around on a date like that.
B - your memory never ceases to amaze me. Yes. There was, at one time, a mattress in my car, albeit not at the same time as the bumper. The mattress was in there as I was in the process of moving out of my apartment and back in to my parents' house prior to going back to college. I already had a bed at my parents and no longer required the twin mattress, but had not yet discovered a new home for it. The boy on the date with me was quite excited about this turn of events, but I must strongly assert that he did NOT have the opportunity to test it out. :)
I'm glad you are trying to take it easy. To be honest, I'm surprised you don't have an extended warranty on your horn.
I say to you - ha ha.
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